Transparency Test

How transparent am I? How much do I show the following traits, and how much do I hide them?

How much do you agree with it?


The Helper (the Two) & The Peacemaker (the Nine)

Helpers are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people's needs.

Peacemakers are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them.

How to Get Along with Me

- Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.
- Share fun times with me.
- Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.
- Let me know that I am important and special to you.
- Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.
- If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don't like expectations or pressure.
- I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advatage of this.
- Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit.
- Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge me gently and non-judgmentally.
- Ask me questions to help me get clear.
- Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery.
- Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings.
- I like a good discussion but not a confrontation.
- Let me know you like what I've done or said.
- Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life.

In Intimate Relationships

- Reassure me that I am intersting to you.
- Reassure me often that you love me.
- Tell me I'm attractive and that you're glad to be seen with me.

What I Like About Being a Two & a Nine

- being able to relate easily to people and to make friends
- knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better
- being generous, caring, and warm
- being sensitive to and perceptive about others' feelings
- being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor
- being nonjudgmental and accepting
- caring for and being concerned about others
- being able to relax and have a good time
- knowing that most people enjoy my company; I'm easy to be around
- my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator and facilitator
- my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now
- being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe

What's Hard About Being a Two & a Nine

- not being able to say no
- having low self-esteem
- feeling drained from overdoing for others
- not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish
- criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should
- being upset that others don't tune in to me as much as I tune in to them
- working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings
- being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive
- being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline
- being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally
- being confused about what I really want
- caring too much about what others will think of me
- not being listened to or taken seriously

Twos and Nines as Children Often

- are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism
- try hard to please their parents by being helpful and understanding
- are outwardly compliant
- are popular or try to be popular with other children
- act coy, precocious, or dramatic in order to get attention
- are clowns and jokers (the more extroverted Twos), or quiet and shy (the more introverted Twos) (I fence sit perfectly between extro and intro)
- feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant
- tune out a lot, especially when others argue
- are "good" children: deny anger or keep it to themselves

Twos and Nines as Parents

- are good listeners, love their children unconditionally, and are warm and encouraging (or suffer guilt if they aren't)
- are often playful with their children
- wonder: "Am I doing it right?" "Am I giving enough?" "Have I caused irreparable damage?"
- can become fiercely protective
- are supportive, kind, and warm
- are sometimes overly permissive or nondirective