Let's Talk About...
MUSIC
"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for those who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'." - Bob Newhart
"It's called rap music because the 'c' fell off the printer." - Allan Bease
"Rap music sounds like someone feeding a rhyming dictionary to a popcorn popper." - Tom Robbins
"Sting - where is thy death?" - Joe Queenan
"I'm not proud of some of the things I've done in my life. I'm not proud of having a poor education. I'm not proud of being an alcoholic. I'm not proud of being a drug addict. I'm not proud of biting the head off a bat. But it could be worse. I could be Sting." - Ozzy Osbourne
"I can't listen to too much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland." - Woody Allen
"Leonard Bernstein uses music merely as an accompaniment to his conducting." - Oscar Levant
"Talking about music is like dancing about architecture." - Steve Martin
"I do not like the saxophone, it sounds like the word 'reckankreuzungsklankwekzeuge'." - Robert Wagner
ARCHITECTURE
"A physician can bury his mistakes, but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines." - Frank Lloyd Wright
"In my experience, if you have to hold the lavatory door shut by extending your left leg, it's modern architecture." - Nancy Banks Smith
"I have a theory about architecture in Los Angeles. I think all the houses came to a costume party and they all came as other countries." - Michael O'Donoghue
LANGUAGE
"My wife is teaching me Cuban. It's like Spanish but with fewer words for luxury goods." - Emo Philips
"Aside from a few odd words in Hebrew, I take it for granted that God has never spoken anything but the most dignified English." - Clarence Day
"There's a store in New York called Bonjour Croissant. It makes me want to go to Paris and open a store called Hello Toast." - Fran Lebowitz
"Dutch is not so much a language as a disease of the throat." - Mark Twain
" 'Ms' is a title that sounds like a bumblebee breaking wind." - Hortense Calisher
BUSINESS
"Business is the art of extracting money from another mans pocket without resorting to violence." - Max Amsterdam
"I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly." - Steven Wright
"All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy." - Spike Milligan
"Money isn't the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortuantely I love money." - Jackie Mason
"You can name your salary in this business. I call mine Fred." - Rodney Dangerfield
"Money doesn't make you happy. I have $5o million, but I was just as happy when I had $48 million." - Arnold Schwarzeneggar
"They usually have two tellers in my local bank. Except when it's very busy. Then they have one." - Rita Rudner
"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for those who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'." - Bob Newhart
"It's called rap music because the 'c' fell off the printer." - Allan Bease
"Rap music sounds like someone feeding a rhyming dictionary to a popcorn popper." - Tom Robbins
"Sting - where is thy death?" - Joe Queenan
"I'm not proud of some of the things I've done in my life. I'm not proud of having a poor education. I'm not proud of being an alcoholic. I'm not proud of being a drug addict. I'm not proud of biting the head off a bat. But it could be worse. I could be Sting." - Ozzy Osbourne
"I can't listen to too much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland." - Woody Allen
"Leonard Bernstein uses music merely as an accompaniment to his conducting." - Oscar Levant
"Talking about music is like dancing about architecture." - Steve Martin
"I do not like the saxophone, it sounds like the word 'reckankreuzungsklankwekzeuge'." - Robert Wagner
ARCHITECTURE
"A physician can bury his mistakes, but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines." - Frank Lloyd Wright
"In my experience, if you have to hold the lavatory door shut by extending your left leg, it's modern architecture." - Nancy Banks Smith
"I have a theory about architecture in Los Angeles. I think all the houses came to a costume party and they all came as other countries." - Michael O'Donoghue
LANGUAGE
"My wife is teaching me Cuban. It's like Spanish but with fewer words for luxury goods." - Emo Philips
"Aside from a few odd words in Hebrew, I take it for granted that God has never spoken anything but the most dignified English." - Clarence Day
"There's a store in New York called Bonjour Croissant. It makes me want to go to Paris and open a store called Hello Toast." - Fran Lebowitz
"Dutch is not so much a language as a disease of the throat." - Mark Twain
" 'Ms' is a title that sounds like a bumblebee breaking wind." - Hortense Calisher
BUSINESS
"Business is the art of extracting money from another mans pocket without resorting to violence." - Max Amsterdam
"I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly." - Steven Wright
"All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy." - Spike Milligan
"Money isn't the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortuantely I love money." - Jackie Mason
"You can name your salary in this business. I call mine Fred." - Rodney Dangerfield
"Money doesn't make you happy. I have $5o million, but I was just as happy when I had $48 million." - Arnold Schwarzeneggar
"They usually have two tellers in my local bank. Except when it's very busy. Then they have one." - Rita Rudner
posted by David | 11:06 pm
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