The Fountain Of Knowledge

For those who don't know it, Uncyclopedia.org is a parody of Wikipedia. The articles are mostly nonsense, poking fun at the subjects of the articles. Here're some excerpts from articles on Uncyclopedia:

On Adolf Hitler:

Hitler once declared in "Mein Kampf" that his political views stemmed from the observations he had made while he was young. Some historians suggest Hitler may have felt cramped inside his mother's womb, giving way to his later resentment of foreigners invading his already cramped space in Europe. It has also been suggested that the insides of Hitler's mom were not diverse enough, contributing to his later xenophobia.


On World War One:

As some may know and other may not, World War I was a war when the French, British, starving Austrian artists, the Pope, the Germans and various others, picked up big guns and shot at each other. This went on for several years. Eventually, the Russians joined in, as the constant explosions were keeping them up all night. While their leader, the Czar was out getting shot at by Germans, some nasty men with beards took over his country, so he had to go home and be executed. Ironically, by being shot at. After long years of fighting, someone won, but no-one can quite decide who. Well, apart from the fact that it probably wasn't the Germans.



On Hitler again:














The caption: "Hitler exercises his absolute power over the German masses by counting the lightbulbs in the stadium for 20 minutes."


On Helen Clark:

here are various theories about the origin of Helen Clark. These include:

• Anti-Evolutionary mutation. Divergent speciation resulting from voodoo breeding rituals between a boar and a man, leading to a genetic miracle: the rottweiler baby. Helen Clark was born. All hail.
• Dental conspiracy. A man-made creation born from 1950 NZ Orthodontist's Association conference, under the call for a "walking advertisement for braces". Subsequently fearful parents have malnourished their families to pay for the correcting of non-existent crooked teeth in order to save the children from what is described as the "Blair Witch Smile" and the "Smile of Hell(en)".

.....Helen Clark was eligible to win the 2005 'who hates this bitch' award, but instead won the 'most hideous rug muncher award', of which she has been crowned the last 10 consecutive years.


On Americans:

Americans are a genus of human (scientific name Americanus) found predominantly in the United States of America. Americans are primarily detritovores, but they are not above eating their own young. Average body size ranges from anorexic to obese, depending on the species. Populations are densest in the areas described by scientists as "cultural black holes", such as Los Angeles, Las Vegas, and Miami.

Scientists are at a loss as to describe the ecological niche of Americans (currently, they are classified as parasites). Indeed, one biologist described Americans as "the tumors of the animal world."

All Americans are considered nonnative invasive species. For details on eradication efforts, see Detection and Eradication.